If you ever feel exhausted as a parent and want to escape somewhere, this article is for you.
Being a parent is a role that requires high-energy, and can also be very demanding. Caring for our children requires a lot of attention, dedication and time.
We are often on our own. When we get up in the morning, we are cooks, taxi drivers, managers, psychologists, shopping consultants, nurses and bodyguards.
Is it even possible to be great parents and at the same time not fall into bed exhausted in the evening in such a state that we can’t even cover ourselves before falling asleep?
Today we’re going to start from the opposite end. In this article, we have prepared a list of seven activities to which energy needs to be devoted because they are essential for the proper development of our children.
Thanks to this excellent overview, you can easily recognize where you don’t need to waste your energy.
Because if we get to a state where we’re exhausted, we react to children worse than we would like and then regret it. To learn how to change this cycle and know what to do if we were already unpleasant to the children, you can read this article: You Spanked Your Child And Now You Are Sorry
How not to waste energy in parenting?
As parents, we have many responsibilities and need a lot of energy to handle everything. In a recent exciting podcast by Janet Lansbury, I heard about seven crucial places where our energy is required in parenting. When we know about them, we will learn how to conserve our energy in areas that aren’t a high priority.
This podcast will explain to you how to save your energy in parenting.
Where do we need to put our energy?
1. Fulfilling The Basic Needs
We can probably all agree that as parents we are responsible for fulfilling the basic needs of our children. This is our number one priority. That means making sure they have enough food, water, rest, and love. It sounds simple, but it’s essential.
2. Being Present
The second thing we can do is be present and connect with our child in times such as feeding, bath time, changing diapers, and putting them to bed.
We can approach these duties as an opportunity to learn something about our child, communicate with them, and get to know them.
Thus, we will transform these chores into pleasant moments where the child participates and shares with us. This way we can grow together.
If we give 100% of our attention, being present and connected periodically while performing these duties then it becomes easier for them to play on their own and learn to let us go. In doing so we raise a less needy child.
3. Creating A Daily Routine
Creating a consistent daily routine can save a lot of energy. Not everybody believes in this. For some parents is this boring, but for kids it makes them feel more powerful, safer, and like they are participating.
They know things on their own what is going on and what is going to happen. Some people think this will make kids fatigued and more problematic to adjust to changes, but the opposite is true.
It gives them the confidence to adapt to changes in their routine. This will help them evolve self-discipline and easier accept our boundaries. Children seek boundaries.
Will my parents build a nest around me where I can relax?
4. Building Healthy Boundaries
Children need us to invest energy to build boundaries. Children have a remarkable ability to BE in the moment. It can be very inspiring.
We have a fantastic opportunity to drift off into their world and be present in the moment and just enjoy the time together while playing. This is a wonderful way to bond.
Our kids need us to see beyond the moment to decide for them. To leave the playground soon enough so they are not too tired. To not eat another cookie so they don’t spoil their appetite for dinner.
We should also care about our personal boundaries. We need to be able to tell our kids about what we need.
For example, if we need to shop and cook dinner, it is not a very pleasant experience to sit in the park watching kids play but be nervous about all of us getting hungry.
Kids always feel when we play this two faces role. Lie calm on the outside but boiling on the inside. It is not fun for anyone. We should be able to say NO if we feel like not doing something. It is liberating.
Janet Lansbury says in her podcast (you can listen to it here) that the best thing we can do as parents is to stay calm. Treat yourself to the things you enjoy.
Treating yourself like your best friend or like your own child. Only then will we be able to be authentic and not send mixed signals to children.
Only then will our children feel safe knowing they can rely on us as gentle leaders.
5. Preparing The Environment
We should prepare an environment for children that provides a safe space for them to move around. Play and discover. They can have fun alone and won’t need to call us for every activity.
You can find out more about how to arrange your home so your kids can be as independent as possible in this article>>
6. Observing With Intention
Sensitive observation. Janet further encourages parents to observe children whenever they can. To relax and just watch the children play.
In this way, they get valuable information about what their child is doing and what they need.
It is necessary to throw away all expectations and eliminate the tendency to compare. Children need to feel our acceptance, just as they are.
7. Concentrating On Our Behavior
We are role models. We should just be ourselves. We should focus on what we want children to do, how they behave and act accordingly.
Remembering to set a good example as a role model, even in the heat of the moment can be a challenge. Especially in the rough and tumble of the playground.
For example, if we see our child playing roughly with another and they slap this child we cannot go over and slap them as a punishment for this behavior. We would be reinforcing that slapping is OK.
We are thus sending a mixed message to the children. We can use this opportunity to be a better version of ourselves. Say more pleases and thank yous, teach right from wrong, be polite and take responsibility for our actions.
Trusting Children's Natural Learning Process: Janet Lansbury's Insightful Perspective
Janet talks beautifully about the fact that we should trust the children and give them time and space and the children will guide us on their own.
They are internally programmed to learn and develop. It is enough if we provide them with the opportunity and they will progress.
We will teach them more if we do not teach them.
If you are interested in Janet Lansbury and are interested in checking out her books, I highly recommend them (Elevating Child Care & No Bad Kids).
I have these two at home and they are great material for parents who want to raise children with respect and understanding.
Children should be allowed to play as they choose. It is naturally driven. As long as the game is not dangerous, it is perfect for children at that moment.
I would like to end this article with this beautiful thought.
I hope it has helped you decide where to invest your energy so you have enough strength to spend time with your children at your full potential.
You and your children deserve it!
Conclusion - 7 Essential Areas to Prioritize for Efficient Parenting: Saving Energy Where It Matters Most
In conclusion, being an efficient parent requires focusing our energy on the right things. By prioritizing the areas mentioned above, we can save our energy for the things that matter most in our children’s lives.
It’s okay to let go of the things that don’t matter as much, like a perfectly clean house or a Pinterest-worthy birthday party.
Instead, we can focus on being present with our children, nurturing our relationships with them, and taking care of ourselves.
When we do these things, we will be better parents and more fulfilled in our roles.
In this article, we have discussed seven important places where our energy is really needed in parenting.
By focusing our energy on these areas, we can save our energy in places where we don’t need it so much.
The seven areas that we have covered in the blog post are:
- Fulfilling the basic needs of our children
- Being present and connecting with our child during routine activities
- Creating a consistent daily routine for children
- Building boundaries for children and ourselves
- Preparing a safe environment for children to play and discover
- Sensitively observing children during playtime
- Being a role model for our children
With this knowhow, we can become more efficient parents and focus our energy on what really matters – our children’s growth and development and our mutual relationship.
Do you have a comment or question about the article? I look forward to your comments.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Did you read the whole thing and still have a questions? In this FAQ section, we’ll address some of the most commonly asked questions about parenting.
From saving energy during daily chores to modeling positive behavior for your child, we’ve got you covered.
Wondering who Janet Lansbury is and why she’s an expert in the field of parenting? We’ve got that covered too!
Read on to find out how to be the best parent you can be.
1. What is the most important area where I should focus my energy as a parent?
The most important area to focus your energy on as a parent is fulfilling your child's basic needs, like food, shelter, and safety.
2. How can I save energy when doing daily chores like feeding and putting my child to bed?
Approach these duties as an opportunity to learn something about your child, communicate with them, and get to know them. This way, you can transform these chores into pleasant moments where the child participates and shares with you. Is it important to establish a daily routine for children?
3. Is it important to establish a daily routine for children?
Yes, establishing a consistent daily routine can save a lot of energy and help children feel more powerful, safer, and like they are participating. It also helps them develop self-discipline and easily accept our boundaries.
4. How can I model behavior for my child?
Lead by example and show your children how to behave. Demonstrate qualities like empathy, kindness, and respect in your interactions with others, how you solve problems, and how you treat yourself.
5. Why is self-care important for parents?
Taking care of ourselves is crucial for being good parents. We need to prioritize our physical and emotional health so that we can show up as our best selves for our children. When we take care of ourselves, we have more energy and patience to be present for our children.
6. Who is Janet Lansbury?
Janet Lansbury is an internationally recognized parenting expert who has been teaching respectful and effective parenting techniques for over a decade. In her podcast, she shares her expertise on various parenting topics and provides valuable insights on how to raise healthy, confident, and independent children.
2 Responses
Very important info in here, ty for the great tips!
You’re welcome. I’m glad you liked it.