We‘ve gathered some of the most hilarious and true parenting quotes that are spoken by parents like you. Take a break from parenting, even if it‘s just for a few minutes, and enjoy.
1. “A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.” – Jerry Seinfeld
2. “Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.” – Jenny McCarthy
3. “Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.” – Ryan Reynolds
4. “Usually the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty.” – Julia Roberts
5. “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” – Michelle Pfeiffer
6. As a parent, my hobbies include repeating myself, rage waiting, and repeating myself. – via realtoughdad
7. ‘Stop saying “we’re pregnant.” You’re not pregnant. Do you have to squeeze a watermelon-sized person out of your lady hole? No.’ ― Mila Kunis
8. ‘It’s like kids can just smell when you start relaxing.’ – Unknown
9. “It’s always grounding to get the friendly reminder from your 3yr old that ‘mom, one day… You’re gonna turn SIXTY.’”— Kristen Bell 🔔
10. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” — Erma Bombeck
11.“Stepping on a LEGO land mine at 4:30 a.m. while holding a baby and not falling should be an Olympic sport.” – Unknown
12. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron
13. “The fastest land animal is a toddler with something in his mouth.” – Unknown 🔔
14. “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious.” – Unknown
15. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Betty White
16. “Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children.” – Unknown🔔
17. “My house looks like I’m losing a game of Jumanji.” – Unknown
18. “Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” – Nia Vardalos
19. “My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett
20. “The first 5 years of parenthood is like a 2 a.m. game of twister in your bed. And you are always the loser.”- Jennifer Betts
21. “Being a parent is like folding a fitted sheet; no one really knows how.” – Unknown
22. “My kids are turning out just like me. Well played karma, well played.” – Unknown
23. “Motherhood – when 90% of your time is spent putting other people’s crap away.” – Unknown
24. “People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” – Leo Burk
25. Having a child is liking getting a tattoo…on your face. You better be committed. – Eat Pray Love
My favourite one is number 10. Let me know what your favourite one is in the comments section below.
One Response
Hahaha, these are so funny. My 3-year-old is all about drinking water a million times before bed! Number 16 is my favorite!